During one of John Bunyan's imprisonments (in the mid 1660's) he wrote Grace Abounding. (This was his first major work. Pilgrim's Progress was written later during another imprisonment.) In this book he acknowledged that when someone makes a commitment to Jesus Christ, he becomes more aware of his own miserable condition.
Near the end, he listed "seven abominations that still lingered in my heart."
They were:
(1) An inclining to unbelief
(2) Suddenly to forget the love and mercy that Christ manifests
(3) A leaning to the works of the law
(4) Wanderings and coldness in prayer
(5) To forget to watch what I pray for
(6) Aptness to murmur because I have no more and yet ready to abuse what I have
(7) I can do none of those things which God commands me to without my corruptions thrusting themselves in, just as Saint Paul said in Romans 7:21: "I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me."
All seven of these "abominations" weigh heavily on me. too. Especially #7.
Later he concluded that maybe these issues could have a divine purpose.
That idea reminds me of the DVD Bro Mike showed us a month or so ago -- Voddie Baucham's message on Psalm 51 and how our memory of our own sins does serve a divine purpose.
That message really changed my life in many ways. To remember our past sins leads us to rely more on Christ's presence in our lives -- a reminder of how close we are to sin -- only a breath away from disobedience. And how thankful we are for God's grace when we recall our past sins.
"There is a name for people who don't remember their past sins," Baucham said. "It's called 'amnesia.'"
I also loved the way he talked about the "sissy Jesus" we tend to worship and adore...when what we really need to see and worship is that "Warrior on the White Horse!" in Revelation. "You can have your sissy Jesus if you want. But as for me, I want that Rider on the White Horse" and that's how he ended his message.
OK, that part about Voddie Baucham is a "by the way."
Here is how John Bunyan perceived possible divine purpose in the remembrance of his sins:
1. They make me abhor myself.
2. They keep me from trusting my heart.
3. They convince me of the insufficiency of all inherent righteousness.
4. They show me the necessity of flying to Jesus.
5. They press me to pray to God.
6. They show me the need to watch and be sober.
7. They provoke me to pray to God, through Christ, to help me and carry me through the world.
I think Vodie Bauchman would like this list.
