Not guilty as charged!

I remember frustrated teachers telling us we were going to play the "Quiet Game."  I wasn't good at that sport -- nor was any of the other kids. We always started with closed lips, of course, but almost immediately we erupted into gales of giggling and began poking and tickling each other -- just to shatter the silence that had been imposed upon us.

After all, we all knew it was just a cheap trick to get us to be quiet for just a few moments!

Recently I have been noticed how hard it is to find a place of quiet.
It seems like there is noise everywhere. We even have "white noise" to cover up, camouflage, or distract us from all the other more annoying noise around us!

Right now I hear the TV on in another room, the dishwasher changing cycles, the air conditioner fan burring, and tiny signal ding that there is a message on my cell phone, a neighbor taking a garbage can out to the curb, and even this computer makes a buzzing sound....all these noisy signals do remind me that life is going on as planned....that things are working and working as they are intended. That sometimes can be sort of comforting.


But then I think about the Bible and its commands (not suggestions) that we "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10) and the examples of Job and Isaiah and others who encountered the living God - they were struck silent! Wordless, as they gazed upon the majesty of God.

"In quietness and confidence shall be your strength," we are told in Isaiah 30:15.

I am thinking that if we are to truly experience God, we must experience Him in silence, not just in worship, but also just to hear His voice and to experience His glory...in silent awe.

Screwtape (head demon), in one of his letters to Wormwood (his apprentice demon)  refers to the "prayer of silence as practiced by those who are far advanced in the Enemy's service." (From C. S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters.)

Some Medieval Christian mystics also talked about the "prayer of silence," and "wordless prayers."

I'm not near there yet. Even when at prayer I am aware of all kinds of noisy distractions. I am certainly not one of those "far advanced."

But more than that, I seem to be distracted, not by outside noises,
but by voices in my own mind, accusing, angry voices that assault me when I am having time alone with God.

My psychologist friends tell me I should label them, isolate and identify what they are saying, what they represent. So that is what I am doing now.

This morning I labeled a big one: guilt. Even when I am praying I am being jarred by memories of dark things "I should not have done." Words I shouldn't have spoken. People I should have been kinder to. People with needs I ignored, or didn't notice. Commitments I should have made. Promises I didn't keep.

These thoughts and memories have voices. They clang like cymbals and invade my mind. They shatter my peace and blare out, covering God's voice and disturbing the tranquility He seeks to give me.

There's more: greed, pride, anxiety, hate, envy.....

But right now the most disturbing racket that relentlessly slams into my "quiet time" is guilt.

How can I silence that giant? How can I keep that grating screaming accusing voice away? All the time?

I need a muffler, a silencer, or even a delete key -- and I have it!

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  (1 John 1:9)

And dozens of other verses.

I've repeated the words - 1000 times? I look at the words: He is faithful...He is just...He will forgive our sins...cleanse us from all unrighteousness....

How do those who are 'advanced in the Lord's service' do it?

My new commitment: silence those noisy voices of guilt through
assaulting the Enemy with the Word of God. I must aggressively fight back - be constantly vigilant - fighting back for the honor of our mighty Commander and His faithful Word.

 Do I believe God? Or do I believe He is lying?

"Yes, Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief."