In the desert of my heart

I am appreciating more and more the "outline" or "format" Derek Prime talked about. In my prayer journal for today the Lord's Prayer connection is "Thy Kingdom Come" and the topic is stated as "The extension of the church and the coming of God's Kingdom through the preaching of the gospel."

Derek Prime's system is really helpful. But, when you get back to basics, it is not the understanding of the thing, or the systems used, or the helpful hints we all search out so diligently -- it is so much more profoundly simple -- it's the doing of the thing -- that's what keeps me back at the starting point instead of running steadily toward the goal ... the problem is not in the learning or understanding -- it's in the doing -- a knot in my will, not in my brain.

I need to look at that knot and begin unraveling it. Oh, I know it is the Holy Spirit that does that. But right now, these days, I don't go to Him for that. Why? I feel dry and empty these days. It shocks me how much harder it is to lean on Jesus, to come to Him in need and desperation, when my spirit is dry -- you would think it would be the opposite.

I am thinking about W. H. Auden's elegy to William Butler Yeats -- the last verse:

In the desert of the heart
Let the healing fountains start....

I need those healing fountains. And I know where they are.....why don't I just hurry up and GO?!?!?

Ye who are weary.....COME HOME!!!!

The last two lines of the verse are:

In the prison of his days
Teach the free man how to praise...

This intrigues me...teach the free man how to praise...not the prisoner...the free man...

Can I get there from here?

As a hart longs for flowing streams, so longs my soul for thee, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God?

O God, thou art my God, I seek thee, my soul thirsts for thee; my flesh faints for thee, as in a dry and weary land where no water is. So I have looked upon thee in the sanctuary, beholding thy power and glory.

I stretch out my hands to thee; my soul thirsts for thee.

With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

I will open rivers on the bare heights and fountains in the midst of the valleys; I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water

.

Ho, every one who thirsts, come to the waters; and you that have no money, come, buy and eat!

For waters shall break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert; the burning sand shall become a pool, and the thirsty ground springs of water.

And on the banks, on both sides of the river, there will grow all kinds of trees for food. Their leaves will not wither nor their fruit fall, but they will bear fresh fruit every month, because the water for them flows form the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for healing.

Then he showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.

Can I get there from where I am now? My soul trusts in Him who made me and carries me in His arms. YES, He can bring me back. Yes, He can take me there, even from where I am now, and YES, He will!


(Psalm 42:1-2; Psalm 63:1-2; Psalm 143:6; Psalm 87:7; Isaiah 12:3; Isaiah 41:18; Isaiah 55:1; Isaiah 35:6-7; Ezekiel 47:12; Revelation 22:1-2; RSV)